What is trust? And no, I don't mean the condoms!
The dictionary defines trust as a firm belief in the reliability, ability, truth or strength of someone or something. The Bible defines it as believing and leaning on the word of God or God himself.
What is your definition of trust? What is mine, you ask?
Well, honestly, I don't know how I can define trust. I would say it's believing in someone or something. Putting ALL your hopes on that someone or something. Somehow like, allowing every part of that thing or person inside your life.
Personally, I trust in God. Because He's never failed me, even in my darkest hours. He always comes through for me and am always assured that He's by my side and that He loves me no matter what.
My trust in man? Well, that depends on a whole lot of issues. First, my relationship with the person. How long have I known them? How deep is my relationship with them?
Second, my past experiences with the person. Have I been betrayed before by this person? Have they taken advantage of me at one time or another?
Third, the past of that person. I know we're not supposed to judge or lean on the past but hold on. Listen to me before you come baying for my blood. Is this person known for taking advantage of others and keeps doing it? Is this person hooked onto breaking others hearts and still does? You get?! If a person has a history and is still doing it as of now, definitely you'll tend to trust them on certain levels.
Right now, am going through trust issues with my heart. I'm not sure if I can trust anyone with my heart anymore after what I've been through before. As much as I want to be cautious, sometimes I find myself taking the risk and putting my heart into something I'm not sure will work out.
Well, I guess it's true what they say. Life is all about taking risks.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
This crazy thing called love
When I first saw you, I didn't look twice. Not because you weren't all that. But because I thought you were just like the rest. Tall, dark and handsome. But dogs. Cruel, mean dogs.
We talked. We laughed. We watched the sunset together. And I thought to myself, "He isn't that bad after all." But I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes I made in the past. Spend a lil' time with somebody and soon enough, I'm falling in love. This time, I wanted to take things slow. Real slow. Give my heart a break from all the stress I've put it through.
We became friends. Good friends. We played childish games, a lil' hide and seek. A lil' bit of "Twister". We looked at each other adoringly. We gave flirty naughty smiles in public. We held hands when no one was looking. We stole kisses in the dark. All this...because we were growing fond of each other.
Weeks passed. Months. And now it's almost a year since we knew each other. Ed's note: We're not even dating. But we still can't keep away from each other. Phonecalls and texts every morning and evening. Coffee and chocolate cake over the weekends. We lead busy lives, but we ALWAYS have time for each other.
Now I lie here on my bed thinking. Am I wasting my time? Should I ask him out? Or should I wait for him to ask me? You hint now and then of how you wouldn't mind seeing my smile every morning, twenty years from now. I hint how I wouldn't mind carrying your babies. We both have aspirations. Dreams. Ambitions. Of the future. The future together.
We haven't taken any bold step. We still fancy each other but we're not formally 'together'. I watch you walk away after our lunch date, and ask myself, "Is this it? Is this what I've been looking for? Am I on the right track?" But my heart starts playing tricks with me.
"Shut up!You've been through this before. I've been broken enough times. And yet, you wanna do it again?"
"But this is different. We didn't anticipate all this, and yet it's coming all together. We didn't anticipate to fall in love, but look at us now....."
"....but you're not sure aren't you?" My heart retorted. "You're scared of getting me broken again, aren't you?"
"Not really. I'm not sure if I can trust him with you. I'm not sure if he'll take of you this time and the years beyond. I'm not sure if he can heal you from your wounds."
My kept still then whispered, "Sweetie, if it's meant to be, then it will be. Don't rush into anything. Take it slow. But trust me, I do believe you will get your one true love. One who will take care of both you and me."
"Thanks heart." I walked away. Looked back. Saw you turn back and look at me. Our eyes met. Then like a choreographed dance, we looked down again and walked off.
For sure, we weren't sure.
We talked. We laughed. We watched the sunset together. And I thought to myself, "He isn't that bad after all." But I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes I made in the past. Spend a lil' time with somebody and soon enough, I'm falling in love. This time, I wanted to take things slow. Real slow. Give my heart a break from all the stress I've put it through.
We became friends. Good friends. We played childish games, a lil' hide and seek. A lil' bit of "Twister". We looked at each other adoringly. We gave flirty naughty smiles in public. We held hands when no one was looking. We stole kisses in the dark. All this...because we were growing fond of each other.
Weeks passed. Months. And now it's almost a year since we knew each other. Ed's note: We're not even dating. But we still can't keep away from each other. Phonecalls and texts every morning and evening. Coffee and chocolate cake over the weekends. We lead busy lives, but we ALWAYS have time for each other.
Now I lie here on my bed thinking. Am I wasting my time? Should I ask him out? Or should I wait for him to ask me? You hint now and then of how you wouldn't mind seeing my smile every morning, twenty years from now. I hint how I wouldn't mind carrying your babies. We both have aspirations. Dreams. Ambitions. Of the future. The future together.
We haven't taken any bold step. We still fancy each other but we're not formally 'together'. I watch you walk away after our lunch date, and ask myself, "Is this it? Is this what I've been looking for? Am I on the right track?" But my heart starts playing tricks with me.
"Shut up!You've been through this before. I've been broken enough times. And yet, you wanna do it again?"
"But this is different. We didn't anticipate all this, and yet it's coming all together. We didn't anticipate to fall in love, but look at us now....."
"....but you're not sure aren't you?" My heart retorted. "You're scared of getting me broken again, aren't you?"
"Not really. I'm not sure if I can trust him with you. I'm not sure if he'll take of you this time and the years beyond. I'm not sure if he can heal you from your wounds."
My kept still then whispered, "Sweetie, if it's meant to be, then it will be. Don't rush into anything. Take it slow. But trust me, I do believe you will get your one true love. One who will take care of both you and me."
"Thanks heart." I walked away. Looked back. Saw you turn back and look at me. Our eyes met. Then like a choreographed dance, we looked down again and walked off.
For sure, we weren't sure.
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